Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
