he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
