i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
