sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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