After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
did i just pee glitter
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