I want to have your abortion
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
