Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
