any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
