We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
