we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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