you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
