I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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