i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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