Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize