This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
