I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
