I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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