He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize