so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
