chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
