Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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