When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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