they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
