Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
