Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
