She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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