girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
