Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She said her name was "party"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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