You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
