What a fucking waste of an outfit
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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