Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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