I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
