someone get that fucking seahorse.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
