Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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