You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
