he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
