soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
