who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
