Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize