in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
