There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He passed out mid-signature
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
