let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
