Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
