Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
