I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
