I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dicks are not precious.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize