She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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