I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
