i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Randomize
