dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
