I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
