Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
