hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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