I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
