You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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