you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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