So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
