the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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